(Paul Bylin & Mike DeBlasi from WZMY TV)
DERRY | Paul Bylin is sometimes asked, "When were you in Vietnam?"
He replies, "Just last night."
Images of that far-off place where Bylin spent two tours of duty with the U.S. Army are as vivid in his mind today as they were in the late 1960s, when a youth of 17 enlisted in the military and traveled to a place full of uncertainty, fear and chaos called Phu Tai, a "little place nobody ever heard of" in the central highlands of South Vietnam. Bylin served 19 months in Vietnam | 19 months and 26 days, to be exact.
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Julie Huss Derry author and Vietnam veteran Paul Bylin has written a book about his experiences in Vietnam during the late 1960s. Bylin served in the United States Army and said he has combat Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. |
Now the veteran has written a book about his experiences in Vietnam, "The Other Casualty of War." The book is an autobiographical look at his time spent in the military as a member of Alpha Company, 84th Engineer Battalion, and his experiences and feelings once he returned home. Bylin said he has combat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and has spent years coming to grips with his Vietnam memories and how they affected his life and relationships once he came back to American soil.
"This was a difficult book to write," Bylin said from his home in Derry.
A colorful tattoo showing a dragon, barbed wire, and three sets of initials peaks out from under his shirt sleeve and continues down the entire length of one arm. The dragon symbolizes Vietnam, Bylin said. The barbed wire is a sign of the sharpness and the barriers of war, and the initials | R.J., J.G., and P.P. | are Bylin's personal tribute to three close friends who lost their lives during the war.
Bylin said he voluntarily enlisted in the Army after growing up in sometimes dangerous situations and often getting in trouble in his neighborhood.
"I thought I knew everything," he said. "I quit school at 16 and was on my road to millions of dollars."
Bylin eventually felt his life was leading nowhere fast and decided to join the Army to help get back on track. As most of his friends at that time were also enlisting, Bylin didn't think twice about joining up and heading to far-off places.
Once he arrived in Vietnam, he became friends with his fellow soldiers and learned how to survive amid the harshness and dangers of war.
It took Bylin many years after he returned home to discover that his feelings and behaviors after the war had a name | PTSD. For many years, he said he threw himself into his work, perhaps 80, 90 or even 100 hours a week, just to escape the anger, the rage and the fear he experienced on a daily basis. Many veterans coming home would turn to more dangerous methods of coping with their time in Vietnam, he said, and used drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.
He said he worried about how he treated his wife, Dale, and his family. He would often fly into a fit of rage for no reason. He was unpredictable and living on a dangerous edge.
"I felt lost and didn't know where to go," he said.
Finding jobs proved difficult. Bylin said just the fact that a Vietnam vet was applying for work sometimes made him feel uncomfortable in a potential workplace, as if the world had not approved and that he was a constant symbol of that disapproval.
"We were considered the perpetrators, the drug-induced baby killers," he said. "I'd see the protesters. When I came back, I didn't like what I'd see. No parade. No fanfare. It was very hard coming home."
Bylin said he felt guilty about being the "lucky" one who came home alive, and he would think of his friends who lost their lives in Vietnam.
"Here I was living my life, and there were still guys over there," he said.
Bylin said he sought help through veterans' centers and programs, which led him to get involved in veterans issues and the POW/MIA mission. Still, Vietnam remained a vivid, everyday image.
"There were times during the summer months when I would be sitting by an open window and feel the warm breeze coming in," Bylin wrote in his book. "I'd close my eyes, and I could hear the silent voices of my friends that died in Vietnam. I could hear the gunfire and artillery exploding. All the sounds and smells, I'd be there again."
Bylin credits the support and love of his family for helping him through some extremely tough times. On certain days, there will still be a trigger, a sound or sight or smell that takes him back to what he went through and what he encountered in Vietnam.
"Some describe it this way," he said. "If you weren't there, no words can explain. If you were there, no words are necessary."
And the three sets of initials at the top of Bylin's tattoo are a constant reminder of Vietnam and the brotherhood he felt for his soldier friends.
"I swore I would never forget them," he said.
Bylin will be signing copies of his book, "The Other Casualty of War," at Barnes and Noble bookstore, 235 Daniel Webster Highway, Nashua, on May 22 from 2 to 4 p.m.
The Nutfield News
The Salem Evening News
Former local resident, Vietnam vet pens autobiography
By Stacie N. Galang
Staff writer
PEABODY — "The Other
Casualty of War" started as therapy.
Paul Bylin suffered from
post-traumatic stress disorder in the years following his two tours of duty in
Vietnam with Alpha Company's 84th Engineer Battalion.
On the surface, his
life mirrored that of his Peabody neighbors. He was a blue-collar worker with a
wife, a daughter and a house in the suburbs. But underneath, he was often a
jumble of nerves and anxieties.
It was his Veterans Administration
counselor, searching for an outlet for his patient, who discovered and then
nurtured Bylin's interest in writing. He started writing about his experiences
and his counselor liked the work so much that he made copies to hand out at rap
sessions for Vietnam veterans.
Now, Bylin has turned his reminiscences
into a 70-page book published through PublishAmerica.
Like many other
servicemen of his generation, Bylin had never really dealt with the emotions
brewing in the background. Instead, he chose his poison: work.
"I was
fortunate," he said, noting that obsessive work served as an alternative to
other, more dangerous addictions.
He worked on the tarmac at Logan
Airport and often volunteered for the off-hour, solitary shifts his co-workers
shunned. His were 100-hour work weeks. His wife, Dale, said he worked himself to
exhaustion.
"It was his way to keep from the dreams and the thoughts,"
she said.
Bylin, who grew up in Lynn, dropped out of school, joined the
Army at 17 "and was in Vietnam at 18."
He learned about death and
destruction while his peers at home studied Faulkner and Hemingway. And he
returned to a country filled with anti-war protesters. They were troubling
times.
"Coming back from Vietnam was just as bad as going to Vietnam," he
said.
The writing allowed Bylin to address feelings he had long
forgotten. It also helped him and his family understand each other better, his
wife said. His daughter, Ruth Robertson, discovered the writings accidentally
when she inherited his computer.
"You would think that you would know
your dad," Robertson said. "After reading that, I sat there and
cried."
Robertson said she felt her father's emotion and encouraged him
to complete his work, knowing there were others who shared his experience.
"It was never about making a profit," she explained. "... It was just
about getting it out there."
Bylin spent 10 years on his book, then
submitted his manuscript to nearly 30 publishers before getting it accepted. His
book is available through Amazon.com.
Bylin's book is a lot like the
tattoo that runs the length of his left arm. At the top, he has the initials of
three buddies he lost in the war. He dedicated his book to them. The tattoo also
has a dragon, symbolizing Vietnam, that holds his battalion patch. Below it lies
the American eagle, symbolizing his country and between the two is barbed wire,
for the trouble he had there.
Two years ago, Bylin and his family moved
to Derry, N.H., where he is spending time as a grandfather, motorcycle
enthusiast and moviegoer.
Barnes & Noble Book Signing
May 22nd 2005 - I was at Barnes & Noble doing a book signing. The Nashua store put on a Civil War and a World War II re-enactment and I was asked to do a book signing in celebration of Memorial Day. What an experience it was. This book, although small in size, took me about 8 years to complete. As many Vietnam veterans can understand, some of the memories are difficult to re-hash time after time. However, at the book signing, their was young man that was doing the announcing and introduction of the re-enactments. He eventually came to my table and asked what my book was about. I told him it was about my service in Vietnam and PTSD. He then told me that his dad (who was present at the re-enactment) served in Vietnam and he would like to purchase a copy of it for him. He asked if I would sign the book to his dad. I signed it, "For Steve, Welcome Home Brother!", and I signed my name. About 45 minutes or so had passed and a grey haired, bearded gentleman came over to me with a copy of my book in his hand and said, "I briefly looked through your book and I feel as if you just told my life's story." His voice cracked and he shed a couple of tears. I stood up, hugged him and said, "Welcome Home Brother!" It really hit home when he said, "That's the first time anyone has said that to me!"
If my book was of any solace to him, then it's a huge success and I have done what I had set out to do.
Here is a photo of that memorable day. Seated is Dale, my wife of 35 years, and myself.
